I finally understand the reasons behind it and I wish I could redo everything. The reason for gifts that were not what I wanted. It was to help me become a better person, to not obsess over electronics and learn more about the world and appreciate the world. This boy has been living a spoiled life, until his grandma tries to help him learn and change, but of course things go the wrong way and his life is like never before and as the story continues a theme of redemption is shown.
In my story, I have been able to use a lot of similes and metaphors in order to help the reader understand what I am talking about. “Jack was an enraged elephant stomping across the room” This metaphor was in my story and it really portrays how Jack is acting. This kind of figurative language is found to help develop my story. As Jack storms around his room like an elephant, making the conflict arise and show people what is happening. “Running down the stairs like a stampede.” This simile is able to show how Jack is running, as he is compared to stampedes that rush forward at high speeds. The metaphor and similes in my story are able to help develop my story well in order to allow the readers to understand what is going on.
Throughout the story, I have created a mood through my connotation. Words like “distaste”, “enraged” and “disgustingly beautiful” all create a sense of a hatred and annoyance and distain. They enrich and linger the feeling and make imagery clearer as well in the reader’s mind. All of this contributes to imagery as the feeling allows you to see things more clearly.
The point of view of this story is third person omniscient. This will allow the reader to know about everything and allow the story to flower easier. Third person omniscient is having a narrator that knows everything that is going on. Therefore, there is distance created between the reader and character, but imagery is much easier to do.
The motif in this story should be very obvious, it is a flower ( or sometimes rose). This is because I wanted to highlight a conflict two types, human vs. nature and human vs. human.
SPOILER ALERT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU WANT TO RUIN THE STORY
As Jack is put up against his family, as well as nature. A flower is a symbol of both conflicts as it incited a conflict between humans and humans and nature.
By Alex Zheng
Running down the stairs like a stampede, Jack Hartford soared down his two story house excited by the fact that he is getting a present from his parents. His Pudgy hands slid down the stair, leaving sweat and oil on the wood. He moved like a cheetah and as he came down stairs and turned to the dining room, Jack saw his grandma sitting side next to the table with a box wrapped in gold paper wrappings. The reason for all this excitement was because of the present. All he wanted were new things, new toys to play with.
Henry Hartford’s mother, Sarah arrived at 4:00 PM on October 24th to see his grandson. When she stepped in the door of the house one word came into her mind “rich”. There were 4 flat screen TV’s in the living room, and a kitchen the size of a auditorium. This whole house was quadruple the size of her own house back in California. There were so many rooms, and floors it was hard to keep track of where she is. Everything seemed expensive, luxurious and not necessary, but it really did show this family’s character.
Jack’s parents Henry Harford and Hailey Hartford, came to welcome their mother into their house, making her comfortable and happy. The main goal for Sarah was to meet her grandson. She waited and waited in the living room, waiting for Jack to come down. Yet, he never came. So she decided to walk down the hallway into his room. And soon she understood why he didn’t come. As she opened the door, a booming sound of a gun erupted in her ears. As she calmed down she saw a huge screen with a guns and cannons firing. Jack stood a few meters from the TV and was completely absorbed in the game.
With many tries of yelling his name, Grandma Sarah finally got his attention. Jack turned around, only to see his grandma, standing over him with a very unhappy face. He dropped his game console and look down in guilt. There were no words exchanged, and Sarah was so annoyed by the series of events, she leaves. Grandma Sarah knew that her daughter and son did not know knew how spoiled their son is, because. He probably is the most spoiled person in Montana, but they couldn’t do anything about it until on the last day of Grandma Sarah’s trip, she found a solution to help her grandson.
When Jack came down the stairs, he noticed how it was a long box about the size of a shoe box. It stood out from the dining room. There was a long table the length of a tree, with chairs along the side. Lights were everywhere around him, fluorescent lamps, yellow lights, everything was so bright. Jack called his house, “Mini Paris” for a reason. For all Jack knew, this gift was probably another pair of headphones, another game console, so he just tore the wrapping paper apart and opened the box. As he did so, Jack’s face darkened. What stood in front of him was the most unexpected gift to him.
He looked up to his grandma with a disgusted look and started to gather his rage and let it all out.
“Do you like it?” Sarah asks.
“No, why would you get me this gift? You know how I am I love to game, I love to have technology around me, but of course you get me a flower a stupid flower. How in the world does a flower have the same value as a PS4? A PS4 costs $399, its not even that expensive, but a flower doesn’t cost anything. It is invaluable! It is not needed in my life!”
“But Jack, please understand what we are trying to do for you here, we are trying to give you something new to do, think of this flower as an opportunity, a way for you to treat something so delicate and precious and gain a new experience. Trust me, it is worth it, this is definitely a life changing moment.,” Grandma Sarah explained calmly like a teacher to a student
“How life changing could a flower be? All it does it take up space, take up resources and does nothing else, why do we needs this. You’re just a person who is blinded, by this plant, blinded by nature! To me you just scum of the earth, a piece of trash, a waste of life!” Jack insulted.
Like a cub leaving its mother, Jack leaves the dining table without saying another word or hiding distaste to his family and went up stairs, bringing the flower with him. As he slammed his door shut he could hear his parents talking about him and what just happened.
“I understand that he didn’t want a flower, but I just wanted him to see other things, rather then just staring at TV screens and what not,” Sarah tries explains in a quiet voice.
“You don’t understand, its just he is to used to this luxurious life that he hasn’t gotten to understand the beauty of nature and life. You just have to wait,” Henry states.
Hearing this, Jack was an enraged elephant stomping across the room, raging about why they think he is spoiled, why he needs to appreciate nature.
“Nature is just there, there is not point of nature, we can live without it! There is no point of it! None at all!” Jack says to himself
Angered about everything he smashes the flower on his desk like an abusive husband to his wife, being as violent as possible, being as evil and cruel as possible. The smashing the flower was not enough for him as he banged on the table like a gorilla loudly banging on his chest, not caring about anything around him, not even his parents. As Jack finally arose from his anger like a plane out of the clouds, he realized something, a simple flower pot would have broken on Jack’s precious Maplewood handcrafted table, but not this flower pot. Jack finally examined this flower. The plant was disgustingly beautiful, it was a simple rose, blood red petals with a thorny stem and yet it had some sort of glow that illuminated around it, radiating a tiny glow as if it was a fire fly at night. However, the pot was really odd, as he examined the pot, the design across it were root like patterns and colors. His curiosity led him to feeling the pot, the rough exterior was like touching sand paper. It made him question the quality and the price of this plant because the pot itself was just like a bunch of roots clumped together. He didn’t think much about it and went to bed, cursing his parents before falling into a dream.
It was 7 o’clock Monday morning when Jack woke up to his alarm. As he prepared for school in his room, he observed the flower once more, he saw the rose as it was, nothing special about it, but the pot, the root like pattern was gone and it was just a normal pot. Dismissing the fact that something happened, he walked out of his room, giving no water or sunlight to the plant for it to live. That day was also the day grandma Sarah left, back to her home. Leaving the flower behind.
As time passed, Jack soon forgot about the rose and went on with his daily life, and as time went on, the flower started to die. Jack didn’t know, his parents didn’t know, but they were all blinded to the dangers of this gift. The flower started to wilt and one by one, the flower petals fell off the stem, and as each petal fell, Jack was affected.
One morning, Jack woke up to an excruciating pain in his thighs. He looked around, scanning to see anything that caused his pain. As his eyes scanned to his table, his eyes laid on the flower, there was a change, a petal fell. It still looks as elegant as possible, but to him there was no way that the flower could have hurt him. No way a rose could have harmed him that bad. It was a distance away from him anyways. Jack just ignored everything and moved on. However, he did not know what was going on and scheming behind his back
“I guess I just need to rest more,” Jack comforted himself.
Of course he did not know what was happening, but things worsened more and more when each petal fell.
Each time a petal fell, Jack is damaged more. First his legs, second was his arms, and third caused him temporary paralysis at times.
By the fourth petal fell, he was already in the ICU having a nurse observing him for 24 hours. He was a thin branch, frail and fragile His organs have started to fail; he was completely shutting down like a decaying flower. Jack was dying, his body would not react the way he wanted to. Trying to get up from his bed caused his back to be in excruciating pain and leave him gasping for air. The bones of his body became more and more prominent, you could see his veins and his arteries pulsing as blood moved around. No one could do anything, Jack was left to die as if he was a dying skunk on the road. He is going to die by a pain that was more painful then death itself. However, no one was there to save him, it was to late anyways…
His parents did everything they could to help him. They were like Jack’s servants, doing whatever he asks and to do anything that is they brought him all his toys and presents, even the rose. All the rose did was make Jack see nature, the one thing he dislikes. He would turn his head from away from the flower but all it did was cause him pain, oh so much pain. Of course no doctor could have cured him, the rose was counting down his death, and Jack could not do anything about it. As his body became more and more weak, more and more closer to death, so did the Rose. Each petal would fall and turn, rotten and the stem would start to decay. Nothing could be done.
His death would be counted to many of deaths that have happened, due to the foolishness of believing nature was not needed and it is bad. They have all been cursed the moment they were born.
It was night time when there was only a lamp on the desk and shone brightly and illuminated the whole room. And as he laid on his bed, he looked at the rose one last time, and saw what has happened to his gift.
The stem of the rose has turned black and the thorns on it have started to sagged, the roots of the rose are gone as if someone pulled them out. The flower itself, is already gone, all the petals have fell and all there is left is a single petal, on the edge of falling like the edge of a cliff, it stood there waiting and waiting. And as Jack realized what has been going on this whole, time and how he could have prevented his death, the petal turned black and fell off. His thoughts turned from red hot anger, to a more reflective nature.
As he reflects on his past, to his grandma who flew all the way from California to see him. How he mistreated her on so many different levels, so many different ways. And the gift he got, Jack didn’t even appreciate it at all. He wanted to redo all those things he did that were sinful, that were incited by anger and hatred. Jack wanted to restart. Starting off by his grandma. He wanted to do so much, redo so much.
And in the last seconds of his life Jack said, “Forgive me”
Jack closed his eyes, preparing for death to take him, and for a while he was going to die. The plant decayed and died, while Jack had to die, as his body started to decay, starting from the skin; exposing all of his organs and soon all that was left was a hollowed out shell of Jack Hartford, it was like an abandon coral of a family of fish, deserted, desolated, and dead.
However, as if a sudden change of fate, a force redirected Jacks life. The force that Jack hated so much and the force that was killing him changed his life. Jack’s eyes reopened to a very odd view. It was not the hospital he was just in. Jack was in his room, with a game going on right in front of him. He places his game console down, and he slaps himself to see if all of this is real. And it was as Jack winced from the stinging pain on his face. He needed to know what happened, and he checked the time. Jack was wondering about what happened as he walked around the room trying to find clues.
“What happened to me, I was going to die, I remember I was going to die because I saw the – “
Jack suddenly stops and what sits right in front of him is that same flower. It had that same pot, and that same color. However, one thing was different, Jack appreciated the flower, he wanted to know more.
“I guess grandma was right. I guess flowers are important, I guess nature is indeed important, Nature is beautiful”
Jack suddenly remember that grandma was gone and he really wanted to apologize to her about how he acted. So, he took out his phone and was about to dial Grandma Sarah, but all of a sudden, he started laughing, laughing of joy.
In his hands, the phone’s date was October 24th 2:00 pm.
2 hours before Grandma comes.