Music can tell a story. This story; the story of Adam Farmer and Paul Delmonte.
Anything by Hedley (clean version) this song is about how you have a whole life ahead of you and you can do whatever you want with it. This was Adam’s life before all of the complications. “Everybody said boy, don’t go any higher, uh uh, forget that, I can do anything”.
Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys this is when Adam first starts to doubt things. “do I wanna know? If this feeling flows both ways?” Although at first glance it may seem like the song is about a person, but “you” could really by anything. Adam notices strange things, but wonders if he really wants to know more about it. Should he just let it go? Will he regret finding whatever he might find? Is this just him being too suspicious of normal acts? He doesn’t know what to do. “This man’s just visiting and when my father told him your family was also from Rawlings…Then he couldn’t remember any Farmers being in Rawlings…Then I rationalized. I told myself that the editor from Rawlings had been mistaken.” (Cormier 60). There have been suspicious acts but Adam just lets them fly, he doesn’t know if he wants to know the truth behind this.
Smoke and Mirrors by Imagine Dragons this song captivates the moment of when Adam has no idea what is going on and is really confused. “All I believe is it a dream that comes crashing down on me, all that I hope, is it just smoke and mirrors?”. He’s hoping that all of what he is experiencing is “smoke and mirrors” because he won’t be able to deal with it if it’s reality.
Happy by Marina and the Diamonds this song focuses on when Adam is having flashbacks back to when his life was simple and carefree (or so he thought). “Couldn’t relax, couldn’t sit back and let the sunlight in my lap. I sang a hymn to bring me peace. And then it came, a melody.” This song could be used in several places in the book; the most connecting is when he is getting pieces of his memory back. His therapist is always asking him questions that could help him regain his memory, but Adam always has troubles, only remembering things in bits and pieces. This time, just like a snap of the fingers, Adam is able to remember so much. His life was really pleasant, but notice that the mood of the song seems sad even though the lyrics are happy. This is because under the surface, Adam knows that he will never get that life back and he is very downcast.
Black Sun by Death Cab for Cutie this song talks about how fair things can be cruel, and this is what Adam is feeling when he notices that his parents are hiding something from him. Of course, when you don’t know what it is you expect the worst, and that is what Adam is doing. “How could something so fair be so cruel. When this black sun revolved around you.”.
Friction by Imagine Dragons this song is for the moment when Adam can’t take it anymore; he can’t stand that his parents are not telling him the whole truth, lying in his face, and not showing any sign of them ever going to tell him the truth. “You’re stuck in the middle of all irrelevance…you can’t fight the friction”. Adam is feeling irate at this moment.
Figure it Out by Royal Blood this song is for when the string has snapped and Adam is finally going to find answers for himself. He has been living, pretending to be oblivious to the things that are going on in his household and he is finally going to stop turning away from the secrets and facing them. “Nothing here to see. Just a kid like me. Trying to cut some teeth. Trying to figure it out.” He does some of his own detective work, snooping around and eavesdropping on conversations to find out why things are so secretive around him. The song is fast-paced, sort of in an angry tone; so is Adam. He’s vexed at his parents and needs to find out why his whole life has been a lie.
Don’t Wanna Fight by Alabama Shakes this song represents the moment when Adam is feeling so alone and has given up on things. He has been looking for the answers for a while, but isn’t getting anywhere good, he wants to turn to someone and spill out all of his worries and problems, but he cannot because part of him wants to keep all of this a secret, like his parents are keeping it a secret from him. “Living ain’t no fun. The constant dedication…Why can’t I catch my breath? I’m gonna work myself to death. I don’t wanna fight no more” Adam/Paul has finally snapped. He knows the truth, because he dug too deep, but now that he knows it he has so much responsibility, a weight too heavy for his shoulders to burden. This song captures the complete essence of his current mood. He doesn’t want to fight anymore but he has to.
Fairly Local by Twenty-One Pilots this song is about the singer’s split personality (from verse 1) “I’m evil to the core. What I shouldn’t do I will…Tomorrow I’ll keep a beat. And repeat yesterday’s dance” (from verse 2) “I’m not evil to the core. What I shouldn’t do I will fight…Tomorrow I’ll switch the beat. To avoid yesterday’s dance.” On one side he is self loathing, while on the other he is trying to change. This is Paul’s situation after he learned the truth. His father had told him everything (or what he thought was everything…), and now he saw everything in a new way. As if that wasn’t enough, he didn’t even know who he was anymore. Was he Adam, or was he Paul? “his father’s voice holding him captive, enthralled-and yet a small part of him was isolated and alone, a part that was not Adam Farmer any longer but Paul Delmonte.” (Cormier 136). He doesn’t know who he is anymore, and doubts everything. He doubts his therapist/phycologist, people he interacts with, and even complete strangers. He gets is own “never-knows” and is scared of practically everything.
Run by AWOLNATION this song is for when Adam/Paul chooses to run away from his problems. “I am a human being capable of doing terrible things”. He is in a very unstable state, his intentions being to go to an inn that closed down many years ago. “I am riding a bicycle and I am on Route 31 in Monument, Massachusetts, on my way to Rutterburg, Vermont” (Cormier 234) He keeps pedaling, pedaling further and further from his agony.
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