What’s it like living eight years without family?

conflict is some1468945648607thing we’ve all experienced before. I’m sure all of you guys have once thought I’m not good enough or It’s all my fault that happened! or I hate myself, nobody loves me. Alaska young constantly did. In the book Looking for Alaska by John Green, the protagonist, Alaska Young had an internal conflict lingering her whole life. Alaska thought that everything bad that had happened in her life was her fault, which to me seemed like depression. A lot of people in the real world suffer from the same problem and have felt the same way she has. I have even experienced the same feelings but in a less advanced level.

Internal conflict was something that affected Alaska’s entire life. It was the reason she {spoiler alert} died. The internal conflict started that one day when she was eight years old. That day her mom told her to go upstairs and do her homework then suddenly {spoil alert!} “‘[her mom] screamed and [Alaska] ran out, and [her mom] had fallen over. She was lying on the floor, holding her head and jerking. And [Alaska] freaked out. [she] should have called 911, but [she] just started screaming and crying until finally [her mom] stopped jerking’” (Green 117). After the incident, Alaska’s dad blamed her for her mother’s death. He sent her to boarding school and never contacted her. After Alaska lost her mom, she lost her dad too, he didn’t care about her and soon he became a stranger. Alaska had no family at all. She spent day and night thinking that her mom passed away because of her. After eight years she simply stopped caring: ‘“Y’all smoke to enjoy it, I smoke to die” (44). This shows that Alaska thought her life wasn’t worth living for. she started drinking and smoking recklessly because she wanted to die. She didn’t want to live anymore because she thought that she couldn’t do anything right. She was constantly telling herself I can’t do anything right, I’m such a failure, nobody even cares about me. This internal conflict was partially solved when Miles (a guy who loves Alaska) came along. He got her to open up to him and he was the only person Alaska ever showed any weakness to. After meeting Miles, Alaska got a lot happier, she was going to break up with her boyfriend for him. Everything was perfect until one day Alaska woke up drunk and she realized that she forgot the day of her mom’s death, which just passed. She hated herself more than she’s ever before, ‘“I forgot! God, how many times can I f*$% up?”’ (132). That day the internal conflict came back. Miles and the rest of her friends thought that they helped her, showed her that she has a life worth living for, that there are a lot of people out there who love her but turns out they were wrong. {spoiler alert!} She committed suicide.

Alaska’s internal conflict was a lot like depression. Depression is something that a lot of people suffer from every year. 25 million Americans suffer from depression each year and over fifty percent of people who commit suicide suffer from great depression just like Alaska. I think that we should all do more things to prevent depression because it is a very serious matter. A lot of people don’t think that depression is a very serious but it is. It is causing tons of people to kill themselves. I think that people with depression should really go see a therapist that will help them. If someone would have talked to Alaska, she would still be alive. A life could have been saved.
Personally, I’ve also experienced with internal conflict before. This summer I went to a summer camp for three weeks and before I went I was very nervous and scared for no reason. I would tell myself I’m not going to be able to make any friends, nobody is going to like me, I’m going to be really bad at the stuff we’re going to do. This internal conflict was solved as soon as I got to summer camp. I made friends right away and was really good at everything I did. This taught me that I should always stay as positive as possible and hope for the best. There are always people out there who are going to love me.
Overall I think that Alaska should have gotten help. Nobody should have to deal with internal conflict for eight years. Can you imagine what it’s been like for her? She spent eight years thinking that everything she did was wrong. Imagine what that would do to you.


“Looking for Alaska.” John Green. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Oct. 2016.