Inkspill

My Computer’s Perspective of Me

By Gabby A

 

I swear, if I have to take a screenshot of a fandom post I am going to short circuit.

After she does her homework all I can feel is the dragging of the mouse and hear the clicking of the screenshot. Percabeth and Caleo left and right I think it’s becoming a real problem. Her fingers pound the keyboard and she types at rapid-fire speed. She doesn’t even have to look at the keyboard to type at all! I don’t know if it’s just me or can I start to feel dents in the keys? She has no idea how to wash her hands! After school on the bus she opens me up and writes her Fanfictions, and her hands are all dusty and grimy from whatever she’s been doing all day.

Oh, sometimes I wish she’d treat me with more care. When the teacher gets cross and tells the students to close their laptops, she doesn’t close my lid. Oh, no. She slams my lid. I’m surprised that my screen hasn’t cracked yet. She’s spilled so many liquids on me from water to iced tea, I can feel the circuit boards inside my body starting to get sticky. It’s disgusting.

And when the internet doesn’t work, she blames it on ME! She pounds on the monitor with her fist, and yells in frustration. What do I have anything to do with internet connections? If you are planning to destroy a piece of technology, at least destroy the internet router!

She never puts me to sleep, she never shuts me down! All through the night I am up and awake, my brightness turned on full blast, buzzing with energy from the charger she’s plugged into me all day.

I keep reminding her to backup her files, but she just won’t listen! Every time I notify her, ‘HEY! YOU’D BETTER BACKUP OR YOU’LL BE SORRY!’ she doesn’t want to listen to me! And then she gets mad at me when I lose all my memory and lose all her files! Hey, if you wanted to keep those screenshots of Rick Riordan’s tweets, you should’ve just listened!

And here she is, writing all my thoughts about her on a Word Document. Okay. You want more? Well I’ll tell you more! You never

What?

What’s this?

YOU’RE GOING TO SLIDE THE SCREEN TO WORK ON YOUR FANFICTION? AGAIN?

DISHONOR!

DISHONOR ON YOU,

DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!

You shame me, human.

 

[Featured Image by Hyo Jin K.]

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