Inkspill

BREAKING NEWS REPORT

By Vivian W

BREAKING NEWS REPORT- KILLING ‘INNOCENT’ SNOWMAN RAGING THROUGH TOWN

NW: News Reporter

NW: Breaking news! Innocent townspeople being massacred by snowmen made by small unsuspecting children! Snowmen of all kinds are seen trampling plants my grandma planted! Lets hear what the witnesses think of this.

Joanne: I’m so shocked! I was coming back from the store when a puny snowman came up to me and stole my Pop-tarts! I knew I had to run back home before anything else was stolen.

NW: You have made a very very wise decision. Did you encounter any other snowmen or was that your only sighting for that day?

Joanne: Oh. There were snowmen blocking the road. So I went back to my friend’s house to spend a few weeks.

NW: There is something Joanne said- a few weeks. This is expected, since the snowmen are indestructible. The fire department has tried many techniques: fire blower, matches, hoses, trucks to run down the snowmen; NOTHING WORKED. The Police Department has tried using their batons, hot coffee and donuts, but instead five men were taken captive, there are no more donuts in town, the batons were found snapped in half in the middle of a park, and all the coffee evaporated, even in this cold weather.

Joanne: Um…can I leave now?

NW: Yes, yes. You may leave now. The scientists have an idea that might banish the snowmen from our town. We must make a great bonfire then lure the snowmen, THEN THE SNOWMEN WOULD BE GONE!

Scientist: Yes. This was an AMAZING idea and we MUST do it. If you want to survive, you WILL do what I say and you WILL make it! If you don’t, you WILL die. YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY!!! YOU WILL DO WHAT I SAY!!

NW: Uh…ok…sure. That is all on Breaking News, and wait for the next one! AHH IS THAT A SNOWMAN? EVACUATE! EVACUAATE!!!

Leave a Comment