Hey! I’m back. It’s been way too long since I’ve last posted, and let me tell you, it has not been a good time. I thought we were going to have a quick trip to Troy then we would sail back home. But I guess the gods just weren’t into that. Just a heads up, we did not plan to go to most of the places that we went to on this trip and to be honest, some of the places were a bit sketchy.
On our way back from Troy, I guess Zeus just wasn’t in a good mood that day, and the winds did not help us whatsoever. First, the winds pushed us away from our home and towards the Cicones in Ismarus. Well, might as well check out their town while we’re there right? They had a lovely beach, but my men wanted to stay too long, and the nearby locals chased us out, with us losing many of our men in the process. Did us staying on their beach really warrant the locals killing some of my men? Well, we did sack the town, kill the men, and take their wives, but still, I would not recommend visiting Ismarus.
Anyways, after we left that place, those blasted winds came back and tore through our sails. We decided to just row back home and pull down the sails instead, however, the winds attacked again, blowing us off course, again. I mean, chill Zeus, we just want to get back home.
We eventually landed on the island of the Lotus-Eaters, where my crew and I had a small picnic. I heard that people who went there never wanted to come back, and it sounded like a pretty interesting pit stop. The people that my scouts found there were very friendly, definitely better than the Cicones, and they offered us some of their local lotus fruit. However, after my men ate, it seemed like they completely forgot where we were going, and, well, didn’t want to leave. That got me a little suspicious. I immediately told our crew to leave, and the ones that ate the fruit, I had to haul back myself and tie them to our ship to keep them with us.
Soon after we left the island, we found a prosperous island of the Cyclopes. We could have just taken their sheep and left, but I just had to see the locals here. I mean the sheep here were gigantic, the people living here must’ve been living the life, and I thought they might have provided us a bit of hospitality with all that they had. After a bit of wandering, we met one of the locals, Polyphemus, but instead of giving us gifts like I expected, he just straight up ate my men and locked us in his cave. So much for xenia. Long story short, I got him drunk, told him my name was Noman, and with my remaining men, we blinded him and escaped. When Polyphemus called to his fellow Cyclopes “Noman is killing me!”, no one came to help. Clever eh? At that point, we could’ve simply left the island and continued on our way, but there was no way this idiot would go on without know the name of the man who bested him, and on our way out on sea, I shouted back at him, telling him to not forget the name “Odysseus”. I didn’t expect him to curse me with the wrath of Poseidon, after all, when we first met him, he did not respect the power of the gods.
So now we’re with my buddy Aeolus! I’ll tell you what, this guy is wealthy, loved by all the gods and that. He owns his own island where his family of 12 children live. Aeolus was generous to let us stay there for about a month, until I finally asked him to help us get back to my dear home, Ithaca. Aeolus, being the gentleman that he is, has offered me a bag of winds. Amazing right? Who would’ve known you could put something as powerful as the wind in a small leather pouch? So, with the help of the bag of winds, just after ten days, we should reach home sweet home.