Family Surprisingly Supportive of Kid’s Crack Addiction
Howell, Michigan is the dream for those who wish for a suburbia in the form of a town. This small town is perfect for raising a family: amazing house stock, the welcoming Howell City Park, and the crack den on 502 George Street.
“Bill’s a real entrepreneur,” says Sydneiyeh Jackson—yoga enthusiast and mother of Bill Smith, a sophomore at Howell High. “We couldn’t be prouder.”
Bill’s father, Richard Smith, was also persuaded by his son’s business acumen: “At first I was skeptical, but then Bill offered to show me how smoke to it, and I’ve been on board ever since.”
Though his business now maintains a profit of five hundred dollars a day, Bill Smith’s enterprise began with humble beginnings
“Saw off a TikTok say’n that if you just tell your parents what you’re about to do, they won’t believe you and you’re good.”
After coming back home from his first crack high, Bill was initially met with concern from his parents.
“I mean, we did not know he was actually off to smoke crack! But when we realized that was the case, we offered him to do it in the basement,” retells Sydneiyah, sitting on a couch with burn patches next to her husband. “I mean, we’d rather have him smoke crack in the house where we can keep an eye on him, isn’t that right sweetie?” Richard is slumped over the back of the couch, groaning in agreement.
The seedling of his future business took hold after gaining his parents’ seal of approval “I’on know man, just told them I was off to smoke crack, they laughed, and now we’re here man.” Bill Smith, just off his most recent crack high, trembling and pale.
Bill’s story is just one among many that continue to illuminate the importance of parental support.
Eventually Bill brought home some of his ‘crack buddies’ to the Smith’s basement, and his ‘crack buddies’ brought more ‘crack buddies’, and they’ve stayed in the basement ever since. In order to continue supplying the amount of crack and snacks the crack den needed, Bill now has an entrance fee of $30 a day. It’s an additional $20 to reserve a mattress.
While many kids in Howell praise Bill for his ‘dopeness’ and refer to the Smiths as ‘the coolest parents in town,’ there are still critiques to be made.
Kaitelyun Rosenbury, neighbour to the Smiths and Sydneiyah’s rival for the head position in the PTA, calls this “an utter disgrace to our community.”
“I mean, I was known as ‘the cool mom’ on the block for letting my son Jackson smoke weed in the house. I even made brownies for his friends! But ever since that head position in the PTA opened up, Sydneiyah has been trying to one up me, knowing that being ‘the cool mom’ was my thing! Everyone knows that to win the hearts of the parents means to win the heart of the teens! Not cool.”
Kaitelyun’s son, Brandon, often goes over to the crack den, though not to the knowledge of his mother.
“I mean, man, they really just hatin’, dawg,” responds Bill, having just made $40 from his parents who wanted to reserve a crack mattress for later.
The interview was cut short since Sydneiyah started hallucinating killer butterflies that were threatening to kill her son Bill.
UP NEXT: Mass Exodus of Minority Families from Howell: “My kid can’t study if he’s on crack.”