The following 8 articles make up my “body of work” from the “School of Life” website. They are selected from under the category of sociability.
1. How to Say ‘I Love You’ to a Friend
This article explores the structure of a friendship and how it differentiates from sexual attraction. It is a kind of non-standard love that isn’t at all inferior in richness and sensitivity. I feel that this article strongly connected with me as I usually have a very hard time expressing my feelings to others, so I’ve never really told a friend that I love them. However, I recently said it for the first time to one of my best friends, and I feel like this article strongly reflects the nature of our relationship.
2. Why Men Are So Bad at Friendship
This article explores the nature of friendships between men and how the terror of admission of failure or any emotion of weakness prevents them from experiencing mutual compassion and proper trust. This article also connected with me as I think some of my friendships are actually based on this phenomenon. I often put on a facade with people and only select friends whom I really trust know my secrets and I’m able to be vulnerable with them.
This article was very interesting as it teaches the reader that there is no inherently boring person, and how that only seems to be the case when we neglect our true feelings and censor ourselves in an attempt to appear “normal”. This article connected with me as for the longest time I felt like I was a very boring person. I often compare myself to others and felt that everyone else is much more interesting than I am. Luckily, the friends that I have who really know me would be able to say otherwise (or at least I hope so).
This article emphasizes the importance of old friends who have gone their separate ways because of life. The old friend serves as a reminder of our past selves and what it had been like to not be who we are now, which is vital to our personal growth. I’ve known one of my best friends of all time for about 12 years now, as we’ve known each other since first grade. Though our lives are taking off in completely different directions now and especially next year when we go off to college, we still connect with each other frequently and reminisce about our childhood days.
This article explores how the teasing of old friends brings about an affectionate atmosphere, even when talking about our faults. The history and affection between old friends allow for this intersection between the darker corners of who we are and how our old friends see and love us for who we really are. I remember once thinking to myself that a good way to measure my friendship level with someone is how easily we can tease each other without feeling offended. It’s all out of our love for each other.
This article discusses and lists some of the traits of a good listener. Being a good listener is a very important life skill that few can do well. I think that personally, based on the article and on what some of my friends have told me, I’d say I’m a pretty good listener. My friends can always count on me to be there to listen to them whenever they want to rant about something they’re going through, and I would not only listen but attempt to dig deeper to help them resolve an issue or learn more about their feelings without stealing the narrative away from them.
This article is slightly different from the previous ones as it doesn’t really deal with friendships but rather with communication. This particular article really grabbed my attention in that I always have some of the strangest dreams, yet I can never relive the emotions when telling them to my friends. As a matter of fact, there is a high degree of skill and practice required to be able to narrate our dreams well, and it ultimately comes down to our lack of preparation. The article also lists four rules of storytelling, which I’m going to keep in mind next time.
8. What Can Stop the Loneliness?
This article provides a list of what makes a “genuinely good friend”. A lot of us think we have good friends but still feel lonely deep down because our definition of a “friend” may be too trivial. I think for a rather long period of time in my life, I’ve asked myself this same exact question without really knowing why I felt lonely because I believed I still had friends around me. But now, I’d like to think that I choose my friends better, as I haven’t felt as happy to be around the people I am as I have in a while.
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