ISB student finishes December Mock exams – Life drained out of their bodies

An ISB student has recently finished their mock exams for the first time. Consisting of two exams, one for his math and science class, the student claims that they are “stressed” even though they have finished their mocks. Further inquiries were met by hostilities and the student screaming “leave me alone! I want to go home and sleep for the rest of the break”. ISB news reporters were then immediately blocked by security.

Another student had commented on their experience, bemoaning their mock exam. The student displayed signs of LIGMA, a common disease that induces anxiety, self-doubt and stress. Such behavior was not limited to just this one student. Several others displayed similar symptoms of LIGMA. In serious cases, the disease may spread into its second stage called “BOFA”. Such a disease is rare, but can still be found within a population of students who had just completed their Mock examination. While ISB news reporters were unable to make contact with these students during this time, our hearts and mind go out to them and that they make a speedy recovery so that they can return to school in January and prepare for the real exams.

Highschool student tries to write satire – Fails horribly and gives in the process

On December 15th 2020, highschool senior “Yin Wah Yip” attempted to write his own satirical post.

“I thought it would be a fun change every once in a while” said Yin Wah in an interview with one of our reporters. “I never knew that it would be so challenging to come up with unrealistic thoughts in my head”. This shocking news came weeks after writing about how he “loved” satire on one of his blogposts. Yin Wah could not come up with a satirical post despite saying he loved satire.

After scratching his head for 20 minutes and walking around his bed for another 10, Yin Wah had decidedly quit writing satire as a whole. When asked his reasons why, he commented: “I got better things to do”, and then proceeded to sit at his desk and play video games for the entirety of the week.

However, this isn’t just limited to Yin Wah himself. All of the students at his school have shown similar patterns of behavior. Some of which kept muttering to themselves “mocks mocks mocks mocks” while playing video games or reading a book. We here at H.O.M.E. news station sent a request to interview these students, but were due to the continuation of theĀ  COVID-19 pandemic. Undeterred however, our reporter Danceter McGee snuck onto their campus. However, he was caught and tried for stealing stationaries from the school’s supply rooms.