I started by looking for a script that I felt connected with, which I thought would be comfortable for me. We did Stanislavsky exercises that began to give me thoughts on my monologue. I learned how to get into my character and dive into her mindset. I needed to lose all of my thoughts and step in her shoes to put on an expressive monologue.
My monologue was moderately successful because I couldn’t focus much on relaxation during the performance. When I look at myself in the video, I look a bit too tense and nervous onstage. I spoke too fast, and I was not enunciating enough on my lines which affected my communication. I could think like an actor and respond to my imagination by performing because not everything I did onstage was planned. I gave myself some room to explore new ideas through improv onstage. For example, I didn’t expect to hold my head while screaming, but I was still doing it because I was within the character. When my character is in that situation, I assume that she would respond with my body language. Another example of the detail in my scene was the ending, where I looked back at my parents to show a sign of disappointment. I learned how to memorize and recall sensations from working at a slight sensation and expanding it. I took something as small as a gaze in the eye into a gaze, paused, then looked down at the floor to show my feeling of dismay.
The technique that could affect me as a performer was being concentrated and having my emotions involved in the scene so that my imagination could come through. I can act like my character and link experiences that I have had with the monologue. When I was performing, I didn’t think about the audience or what I had for lunch that day. I was focused on my character to show my most profound connections with her and how that will be expressed on stage.
I used to think that being an actor was building more characteristics of the character upon yourself. Now I believe that to be one with your character. You have to lose yourself and become “a blank piece of paper” then draw a picture (with sparkles because you are a star and you have your imagination within this character) on you. Through this monologue, I tried to limit myself to what I would say if I were just to read a paragraph of a document. Instead, I learned to analyze what this girl has gone through and put in a spark of my imagination.