I see myself in the reflection of your eyes

as you lie in the pool of blood

in wonderland


I stand there

waiting for nothing

waiting in silence

Is this a dream?

No one would ever suspect it


I still, after seven years, have trouble figuring you and your mind out

I still, after seven years try to put the pieces back together




But they do not fit


I cry

I cry remembering you

I cry remembering your family

You were their light

I cry remembering your beautiful girlfriend,

who to this day, is still scarred

because she, too, never saw the signs


Your mind was a scary place,

I know

I should’ve noticed sooner


The scars.

The pills.

The drugs.

All signs

All signs of the pain


It’s irreversible

as I stare into your pale skin

and scars on your body


My love,

you left me

you left me hanging on a wire where we had once hung together


The black pit where you once lived in

is not

nor ever will be filled

the same way

it was


Now promise me

Promise me that you will never leave that pit empty

until we are together

in wonderland

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