What Happened in the Heaven

Three gentlemen died during an accident. They both walked into heaven and met the God.


The God said: “You can do whatever you want, just make sure don’t step on a duck.”


“What happens if we do?”


“There will be punishments.” The God replied.


Three gentlemen walked into heaven. There were ducks everywhere on the road. The first gentleman stepped on a duck in 5 minutes.


“This is the punishment you will get,” The God brought an ugly woman over, “You two are chained together for the rest of your lives.”


Time passed away, the second gentleman stepped on a duck after 4 months. The God soon grabbed another ugly woman over: “You guys are chained forever together now.”


The last gentleman didn’t step on a duck for a whole year. Later on, the God brought a beautiful girl over: “I wish you guys good luck. Be together for the rest of your lives!”


The gentleman was so surprised, he exclaimed: “What did I do to deserve this?”


The beautiful girl replied: “I don’t know what you did, sir, but I stepped on a duck.”






Why Not? by Jonathan L

Why Not?”


“Albert, don’t do it!”


“Why not?”


“Just DON’T DO IT!”


“Why not?”


“You will kill yourself, again!”


“No I won’t.”


I groaned. He was going to attempt to pull an “awesome” stunt again. Last time, it was riding a bicycle with the hands on the pedals and the feet on the seat. He ended up with a multitude of injuries, most notably the fractured skull. The incident before that was when he swallowed 100 liters of francium chloride, which nearly blew up his body. Now, I thought, he will be lifting weights on an exercise ball?!


“Come on, Albert. You have already had two near death experiences. Now, you will risk your life again??” I plead.


“But why not? Trust me, I won’t die, hopefully.”


“I doing this for your own good!”


“Come on! Okay, I’m going.” And he took off on his bike and sped up the road and to the ISB dome. At least his feet were actually on the pedals, and not on the seat.


I was determined to prevent him from losing his life, so I hopped onto my own bike, and like a jaguar was chasing me down, pedaled as fast as my legs would allow me. However, he was still way ahead of me, and I was not going to catch up to him on time.


Soon, I could see the two, giant white domes on the back of the ISB area. Albert had already left his bike in the middle of the parking lot, and was sprinting inside. By the time I go there, I knew it was too late. Nevertheless, I speeded into the building, out the back door, into the dome entrance, and up to the upper workout room. I was expecting, an exercise ball, a 100-kilogram dumbbell, and a half-dead body lying on the floor


I was panting, as if I had been underwater for an hour, as I raced to the workout room. To my surprise, Albert was not lying on the ground like I expected. Instead, he was watching someone else do a stunt. There was a basketball net in the corner of the room, an exercise ball, a 100-kilogram weight, but five men wearing caps that said, “Dude Perfect” on it.


I thought to myself, Wow! Why is Dude Perfect here?


Just then, I saw the cameraman coming into the room, and when he said “go”, Tyler, from Dude Perfect, stood on the exercise ball with the dumbbell in one hand and a basketball on the other. Suddenly, in a blink of an eye, the exercise ball went rocketing into the air, and Tyler went falling to the floor. However, the basketball flew, as if it was remote controlled, perfectly arced in the air, landing perfectly into the basket. As for the dumbbell…


This time, however, only Albert was the one celebrating. All the other members came rushing and gathering around Tyler.


“That’s why not,” I grumbled at the still celebrating Albert. After another ten seconds, he finally turned his face to me, seeing my face, and abruptly stopped celebrating. Suddenly, I heard the ambulance, and people started barging into the room to get Tyler to the hospital.


The next day, I went on the Dude Perfect YouTube channel. There was a new video named, “ATTENTION ALL VIEWERS” When I clicked on it, there was Tyler in a wheelchair, with bandages all over his body. As he recalled all the details in yesterday’s incident, I saw the stunt, and also saw Albert and me on the side. I thought, At least Tyler’s alive.


I suddenly heard the doorbell ring. I rushed to the door and opened it. It was Albert. He was wearing a hat with hissing snakes coming from the top of it.

“I need a partner for this one,” he said excitedly. Then he jerked me out of the house and sprinted towards ISB.


Looks like he still didn’t learn his lesson, I thought.